I’ve been watching that show on NBC called “Good Girls.” Let me tell you. That show is addicting. I literally went through two seasons in about a week. OK Just kidding. It probably took me a few but still.
If you haven’t seen it. You should. Starring Christina Hendricks (from Mad Men), Retta Sirleaf (from Parks & Rec), and Mae Whitman (from Parenthood), it follows three women who are mom’s by day and grocery store robbers by night. I won’t give any spoilers but their alter-ego’s don’t stop there. Overall, it’s just a fun show that shows the realness of motherhood, family struggles, and how they decide to stop playing it safe and start taking risks in order to pull themselves out of their financial woes.
As I was watching, it got me thinking how most moms have an alter-ego. They may not be grocery store robbers or indulge in other criminal activity (let’s hope not!) but they do have another part of themselves other than their daily title of “mom.”
Stay at home mom’s (SAHMs) especially. They may not work a regular 9 to 5, but they do PLENTY of work at home. Taking care of children, a household, all the activities during the week and a husband. It’s more like a 24/7 job. But they are more than their “work” as mothers and homemakers.
They have passions. Dreams. Goals.
Many of them, like myself, are small business owners. They create amazing things ranging from knitted baby blankets, to selling essential oils, to designing tshirts, to inspiring other moms to take care of their bodies and well being.
They have goals of doing more for themselves. Following their passions of acting or writing or designing. They put in the hours after everyone goes to bed and all in the house is taken care of. They wake up extra early to get in an hour or two of writing. They go to bed a little later than everyone else so they can work on perfecting their craft. They spend time putting together a whole portfolio of content in order to keep up with social media and advertising their products. And all the while, they are still AMAZING moms.
They make sure their children’s needs are met. They get the grocery shopping done, dinner on the table, and everyone in bed by 9pm.
To the mom with an alter-ego. I see how hard you work and I know you do it for your littles, but you also do it for yourself. You do it for yourself because this particular thing, this craft or passion or hobby or business is what you ALSO live for. It drives you. It fills you up. It makes you feel like YOU again. And you shouldn’t have to put it aside just because you are a mom. It’s OK to have your alter-ego, to keep her alive still even though now you are a parent. Remember that it’s healthy for you to have your passions still and not get lost in the day to day activities for your children. Motherhood is not your ENTIRE identity. Being a SAHM is not your ONLY title. Of course they are both worthy titles, I’m not saying that you NEED more. I am only saying that if you want more, it’s ok. It’s ok to be passionate about something else too, something that really drives your soul, that inspires you to be better and do better.
And maybe it’s nothing HUGE like owning a business or doing something else on the side. Maybe it’s something as simple as taking the time every night to read pages out of your book because your alter-ego is a bibliophile. Or maybe it’s something like doing something yoga when they kids take a nap because your alter-ego is a yogi.
Whoever your alter-ego is, don’t forget about her, because I’m sure she was there before you had kids.
So who is your alter-ego? Are you an oil enthusiast? An actress? A make-up artist? A painter? A violinist? A writer? A jewelry maker?
Whoever you are, remember you are important too, mama. I know it’s hard to balance and I know sometimes you wonder if it’s even worth it to keep going because you’re just so tired at the end of the day, but I promise you it is. You are a better person because of it. Because following your passions is equally important. An inspired mama is a happy mama. And we love happy mama’s because they produce happy children.
My alter-ego is this blog and my clothing shop. I’m actually extremely tired right now and can totally go to bed, but I decided to stay up so I can write because honestly, writing is my passion. It’s just part of who I am and who I have always been. And after I write, I will probably work on a new design for my shop, because I’m learning, this is my now my other passion. And I know that even though I will be tired tomorrow, I will also feel happy because I got to produce something to put out there for others to see and hopefully be inspired by.
I think what I’m trying to say is, you’re more than just a stay at home mom (or mom in general.) You are an amazing mom, but you are also a woman who has passions, dreams, desires, and more in her heart. I’m not saying drop everything, forget about your kids, and go chase after your dreams. I’m just saying, don’t forget “you.” Because you do have your own identity. I know she can get lost sometimes, but find her again. I promise she is there underneath it all.
Stay inspired, ladies.
xx Mama with Grace xx