For the last few days my daughter has been clinging to me as if I am going somewhere. She is refusing to sleep at her normal bedtime because as soon as I leave the room after she’s fallen asleep, her eyes pop open and she is whimpering with fear in her voice. I know she knows that I have left and that scares her.
If any of you are familiar with the wonder weeks, my daughter is in a period of time where she is understanding the concept of separation and that her mama, her comfort zone, can actually be taken away. And it kills me that she is having this fear, this anxiety.
But it also kills me that she is not sleeping at 6pm like normal, which means dinner is delayed, which means housework is delayed, which means every other priority that I need to get accomplished before I go to bed is delayed. It makes it hard on this mama.
BUT. This is motherhood.
Motherhood is sacrifice. Constant sacrifice. Motherhood is where love begins and ends.
Motherhood means sometimes delaying something you need, to give your little one something they need instead first.
Motherhood is spending an extra 10 minutes or two hours cuddling because your child just wants your attention a little bit longer.
Motherhood is reading the same bedtime stories over and over again.
It is playing the same games. Singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” ten times over. It is having to sit through cartoons and actually finding that you like watching some of them.
Motherhood means doing what is best for them. But it also means not forgetting to take care of yourself. Because an unhappy mom, most of the time equals unhappy children.
In the beginning I had a hard time adjusting to motherhood. I never realized how selfish I really was before having a daughter, but motherhood really forces you to take a hard look at yourself and your ways.
Motherhood means getting less sleep if it means helping them sleep better or more soundly. It means getting up at 5am when you really want to sleep in until 10.
It means pushing through the hard points and doing the best you can. It means sticking with it especially when you are in complete doubt of your self and your abilities.
Motherhood is moving outside your comfort zone. It’s changing diapers in the back of your trunk. It’s walking around the store with baby vomit on your shirt and not knowing about it until later. It’s forgetting to pack snacks in the diaper bag. It’s being the mom that doesn’t have it all together. It’s admitting that you are not perfect. It’s showing up late to everything because some kind of explosion or meltdown always happens right before you are about to leave the house.
But in the end, motherhood is the most rewarding job of all. It is worth all the sleepless nights and skipped meals. Because when they look in your eyes and smile, it’s like everything melts away. All the frustration, all the fear, all the doubt, all the exhaustion, and all the pain.
Because they are worth it. Because all of it is worth it.
This is motherhood.
And Mama, you are doing an amazing job at it. Don’t forget that.
xx Mama with Grace xx
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