She is My Why.

As I journey further into the world of network marketing, what I’ve learned that is key to finding success in the business, and really in life I could say, is knowing your why. For a lot of people that might mean that they are doing it simply because they hate having a boss or want to do something they are passionate about or maybe it’s someone like me who is tired of the corporate world and wanting to work hard from home instead.

Why is it important to know our “why?” Because by identifying our “why” we begin to discover what our driving force is that will ultimately bring us success.

The more specific, the more powerful; the more we turn to our “why” when we feel doubt, the more we will be able to face our fears and push through.

My “why” is my daughter.

Never would I have dreamed that a tiny little being like her would inspire me so much.

She has flipped my entire world upside down.

Now everything I do, every decision I make, I think of her.

And she makes me want to be the best version of me, not for myself, but for her.

She is my reason why.

She is the reason I will get up in the morning and work hard. She is the reason why I will make the sacrifices I need to now so that later on, I will be able to give her the best life.

She is my driving force. And I will do whatever it takes to become successful enough to take care of her and provide for her the best I can.

As I mentioned before, my ultimate goal is to transition from corporate job to running a successful business from home so that I can be with her night and day. So I don’t have to sacrifice being away from her any longer. So that I can achieve our goals of homeschooling her and providing her with the best opportunity for education.

I’m going to do it. I am beyond determined.

It’s going to be hard but now that I know my “why”, I can use that as my motivation to keep going and not give up.

Even though I have to return to my corporate job in two days, it’s not an end-all.

Yes, I am incredibly sad still and even anxious about returning but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have a goal and I’m going to keep reaching for it until I get there.

This weekend was my last weekend of maternity leave. I was determined to make it the best I could, to really soak up every single second of it with my little.

On Friday, we woke up early and spent the early morning cuddling and watching Sesame Street. As soon as the sun came out, we strolled around the block soaking in the sunshine. We came home and we played on the floor with some toys, did some reading and learning and then cuddled some more for a nap.

After lunch, we decided to head out to Hobby Lobby. We walked through every aisle and took our time. I would bring pieces of beautiful art close to her and her eyes would open up wide as she took it in. She would look up at me from the stroller from time to time and crack open a smile so big, it would just melt my heart. I would tell her how much I’m going to miss our day trips and how I promise we will do it again soon.

At Hobby Lobby, they have a section of wall art for the nursery and there was this one piece that I loved. It was a very simple piece, just one line of a verse.

“For this child, I have prayed…” 1 Samuel 1:27

It was a great reminder from God. How grateful I am for this child. Even though I wasn’t entirely prepared for having a baby when I found out I was pregnant, I remember praying for her nightly. Praying for her to be healthy and strong, beautiful and smart. I was constantly thanking God for this little miracle growing inside me and now that she is here, I can’t believe it sometimes.

I never knew I could love like this.

Of course, I love my husband so very deeply and equally, and that love is a whole other kind of love that I am very grateful to have and experience, but the love of mother and child is completely unique on its own. It’s another level that cannot be explained.

I love that love is not just one thing. It is not just one definition. It is many levels. Many meanings. Many depths. One love is not more than another kind. They are all equal but unique.

Anyway to continue with my story, after Hobby Lobby, I decided we would go to the bookstore as that is my favorite place and seems like one of hers as well.

As soon as we parked, it started to pour! It wasn’t supposed to rain but it did look like it was getting darker as the day went on. I wasn’t entirely prepared though. Yes – I am that mom.

So we decided to wait it out. I went in the backseat with her and unbuckled her. I fed her a bit and after she just sat on my lap as we watched the rain pitter-patter against the window. Again, her smiles came one after the other.

Then, poop. Lots and lots of poop.

Yeah, you didn’t expect that twist.

So it’s pouring rain, I can’t exactly just go inside the store to change her as I can’t get the stroller out without getting us both soaking wet. So I decide we need to change it in the car.

And of course, I’m in my husband’s Prius C, which is very, very tiny. No where to place her down at. I decide we will need to do it on my lap.

As I’m changing her, I’m praying that it’s not a complete blow out as I don’t think I could deal with that mess with her on my lap. Luckily it’s not, and luckily she doesn’t pee on me as I’m transitioning on her new diaper.

Then I sit her back on my lap, as if nothing happened and we continue to watch the rain come down. It was a beautiful, yet comical moment. And I felt so much joy in those few moments.

Finally the rain stopped and we were able to go inside. We walked around looking at all different kinds of books and even picked out a few to bring home.

Once we got home and finished our nightly routines, it was time for bed.

We bed-share so I tucked her next to me and she grasped hold of my arm like she normally does when she falls asleep. I couldn’t stop staring at her for a few moments before I decided to close my eyes and simply pray.

Dear Father, please make it possible for me to stay home with my little girl soon so that I may be present for her in all ways. Provide a way for us financially so that it could be possible. Thank you for this baby. Thank you for allowing her to open my heart in a way that I never knew possible. Amen

I closed my eyes. Happy and complete.

It was the best day ever.

She is definitely my reason why.

xx

Mama with Grace

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