Silent night…

Cue: Silent Night

I’m sitting here in our living room. All the lights are off. No TV. No distractions. My little girl is finally asleep after a long day of minimal naps and lots of fussiness. Husband is at work. And I actually have a moment to myself… not saying that in a bad way, mind you.

I just feel at peace right now. Staring at the Christmas tree. Yes, we finally got one even though it is three days until Christmas. We weren’t going to, just because being on maternity leave has drained our finances and we honestly could not afford it. We didn’t even do gifts really. I just bought everyone one tiny present.

My mother, however, knew this was a special Christmas. Baby’s first. And how could you not make it special? How could you now have a tree or presents?

So she went digging in her attic to find her extra tree and surprised us by bringing it over and setting it up for me (since I have minimal opportunity to do pretty much anything easily these days.)

It was the best surprise and kind of memorable in a way. This Christmas may not feel so traditional with all the gifts and gizmos. The crazy holiday shopping. The decorations outside. I didn’t even get to go look at lights like I usually do every year.

But this moment…sitting here, by myself, soaking in this Christmas tree, is everything.

It makes me grateful for all that I have. I feel blessed.

This year, God has been so so good to me. Not that He isn’t any other time, but this year has been extremely memorable.

Starting with our engagement…finding out we are pregnant soon after…then our wedding.. getting a big promotion.. getting a new apartment… having a baby…


And I’m learning that it’s not really having a bunch of stuff that makes you feel true joy, it’s experiencing moments and really soaking them in and feeling grateful for them.

So as I sit here, I pray to our Father, thank you Lord for all you have blessed me with. Thank you for these magical moments. Thank you for your peace, love, and blessings. Thank you for always being faithful and providing for our needs this year, and always. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for my magical little girl. Thank you for this beautiful life.

It may be difficult at times and I may feel discouraged more often than not, but it is all worth it and it is all beautiful.

And the most important thing to remember, the most important thing I’ve learned this year… is to really trust God because He is so good and only wants good for us. He will provide. He will never fail. He will always be there.

What a beautiful tree this is. A beautiful reminder of Our Lord.

Such a silent night… a holy night…. this is.


Mama with grace

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